OPTIMIZE YOURSELF

Tonight I ran "disc defrag" on my hard drive. I try to do that monthly, to keep my computer as speedy as possible. Usually I'll start it the last thing at night, make sure it's going, turn the monitor off and let it run while I go to bed. There's always a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment the next morning when I return to the computer knowing that all the data is orderly and sorted and put in place, that my drive is optimized and ready to begin a fresh time of tasks.

This evening, though, I began to watch the program work. I pulled up the "Details" screen, and watched the little colored blocks sort themselves into proper order: neon blue at the beginning of the drive, moss green in the middle, dark green at the end. The red blocks that were reading the data danced along the lines, placing the clusters exactly where they were supposed to be and optimizing free space to receive new information.

The data blocks, when they are properly optimized, are a pretty and serene sky blue. Eventually the screen began to fill with this color, each of these blocks, I imagined, peaceful and whole, properly aligned, in their place and at rest.

It occurred to me that I need occasional defragmenting too - time to sort, order and optimize myself. I don't have a program to run for that, a button I can push, but I can arrange it nonetheless - a planned time to regroup, analyze and restructure. A time to get my systems (emotional and practical) into optimal working order. Defraging my computer's hard drive takes about three hours - I should give myself that much time every now and then too!

For me, it's a hot bath with fragrant oil, some time absolutely alone, some writing, some review and planning - and then I'm good to go for another time of hectic overload. As long as I know I can 'defrag' again. I must allow myself the time to do it.

You may have a friend you can swap 'defrag times' with… watching each other's children in order to permit time alone for this precious maintenance. There's something deliciously sinful about a hot bath in the middle of the morning, something so decadently out-of-place that it's even more indulgent. Even if you have to schedule your time late at night, after the kids are in bed, the dishes are done and the laundry's folded, it's worth it. It's time for you.

By:Ellen Lenz